Starting Over

This morning the scale read 181.6. Back to the beginning.

I don't know how difficult the weight loss process will be this time. At this point, I don't think walking is even possible. I know without a doubt that I need to walk & exercise to lose the weight. Watching my food intake is not enough.

Unfortunately, I'm having much difficulty with pain and fatigue. I'm sleeping my mornings away, because I'm not rested from the previous night. The pain in my hands and feet have escalated, but they still aren't as bad as I've experienced.

Last night before bed, I had another episode like last year. While the sensations were different, my nerves seemed to be hyper-sensitive. I can't even explain the sensation. When it started, it caused me to rub my face & scalp. The rest of my body had that odd sensation, too. But, I reacted to the face & scalp.

Last year, I thought the cold triggered the episode. After last night, I'm not so sure.

I'm so tired of being a marionette to my health issues. Today alone, I have so much that needs to be accomplished. Yet, I'm too tired to do most of it. I've managed some laundry, including folding things that have been in baskets for the last few days.

The worst indication of my condition--Jared requested I make cupcakes for his Band Banquet tomorrow. I don't think I have the energy to do so. It's breaking my heart that I might not be able to do something so simple for him. Plus, I love to bake. It brings me such joy, but I don't think I can do so.

It's unbelievable to think that I'm considering purchasing cupcakes.

Somethings gotta give!