Yep, that's me...barely managing. It could be worse. I could not be managing at all. So, I'm at least thankful for what I am able to do.
For the last week, I've been crazy tired. Sleeping 12 to 14 hours and still waking up exhausted.
The pain has settled in to my joints again. I'm dealing with pain in my neck & left shoulder, which makes it difficult for me to find a comfortable position to get to sleep.
Showers have become less a source of getting clean lately. Now, I rely on that hot water to ease the pain and stiffness.
After I get going, I don't dare sit down. Otherwise, the pain and creakiness settles in and makes moving difficult.
I'm also on day three of a headache. It ranges from mildly annoying to painful. I thought that it was caused by the pain in my neck, as it seemed to radiate up my neck into the back of my head. This morning the pain was at the top of my skull. It was then that I realized that it's likely caffeine withdrawl, as I haven't had a bit of caffeine since Saturday.
Despite it all, I have been able to keep after the house. Most days I get the beds made. Some days I manage to make dinner. Thankfully, Tim has taken up much of the slack there. Mostly the laundry gets folded right away, though it can sit it baskets a few days before I decide that it's time to use my energy there.
Thankfully, I am way ahead of the usual schedule for Christmas preparations. We still need to decorate the family room tree. But, other than baking, which will likely fall on Tim's shoulders this year, we are pretty much done.
Ultimately, I'm rather pleased with my ability to manage while enduring the pain and fatigue. Previously, it would have knocked me off my feet. Go, me!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
One Wonderful Week
My wonderful, pain-free, energetic existence lasted for a week.
Fortunately, it was enough to get the living areas of my house back into order. It should be easy to keep up until the next reprieve.
I hauled out bags of items.
Helped install the roman shades in the office. Those windows were completely bare since November 2010, because I had no energy to find window treatments. Plus, we couldn't even get to the windows due to all the stuff that had accumulated. I'm quite happy to report the office is again a serene place to curl up on the couch for a good read.
We replaced the horrible roller shade in the bathroom for a less repulsive mini-blind & installed a new curtain rod to hang the new valance.
Cleaned out the mud room, which has become a temporary storage area for items out of the real storage area.
Cleaned and culled my cookbook shelves.
Rearranged the kitchen cabinets. Replacing the spring/summer dishes with the fall/winter set.
Unfortunately, the family room is not quite up to par. There are still remnants that need to be hauled off to the Good Will.
Thanksgiving Day ended up being the day the fatigue & pain decided to reappear. Fortunately, I had enough energy to clean up after our Turkey Day dinner & put the dining room back in order. Haven't been able to do much besides make beds since.
It's been disappointing. I'm trying very hard not to get discouraged that I'm having to take life a bit at a time again. Napping when I need it. Counting on Tim and J to pick up the slack where I'm not able.
It's hard, particularly when the bare Christmas tree is standing in the living room mocking me. It's a symbol for my inadequacies.
All I can do is a little at a time. It has to be enough.
Fortunately, it was enough to get the living areas of my house back into order. It should be easy to keep up until the next reprieve.
I hauled out bags of items.
Helped install the roman shades in the office. Those windows were completely bare since November 2010, because I had no energy to find window treatments. Plus, we couldn't even get to the windows due to all the stuff that had accumulated. I'm quite happy to report the office is again a serene place to curl up on the couch for a good read.
We replaced the horrible roller shade in the bathroom for a less repulsive mini-blind & installed a new curtain rod to hang the new valance.
Cleaned out the mud room, which has become a temporary storage area for items out of the real storage area.
Cleaned and culled my cookbook shelves.
Rearranged the kitchen cabinets. Replacing the spring/summer dishes with the fall/winter set.
Unfortunately, the family room is not quite up to par. There are still remnants that need to be hauled off to the Good Will.
Thanksgiving Day ended up being the day the fatigue & pain decided to reappear. Fortunately, I had enough energy to clean up after our Turkey Day dinner & put the dining room back in order. Haven't been able to do much besides make beds since.
It's been disappointing. I'm trying very hard not to get discouraged that I'm having to take life a bit at a time again. Napping when I need it. Counting on Tim and J to pick up the slack where I'm not able.
It's hard, particularly when the bare Christmas tree is standing in the living room mocking me. It's a symbol for my inadequacies.
All I can do is a little at a time. It has to be enough.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Today has been amazing!
Today, I have had an abundance of energy. It's amazing to feel energized & pain free!
Please...please...please...let it last for a while.
Please...please...please...let it last for a while.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Today's Strangeness
This morning I woke up feeling pretty good. Of course, my hands still hurt. A little more than usual actually. But, I feel energetic. Will it last the rest of the day? Guess we shall see.
However, I also had an odd discovery. The water hitting me while showering was terribly uncomfortable this morning. How strange is that? The worst of it had to be when the water was hitting my scalp. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
This leaves me wondering if a new symptom is developing, particularly after the hyper-sensitivity of Tuesday night.
I'm quite torn on this. On one hand, I would really like to know what is wrong with me. We have been waiting on new symptoms for a clearer picture. Doubt it's enough.
On the other hand, being that uncomfortable everytime I take a shower is not at all welcome. I honestly cannot imagine dealing with that the rest of my life.
However, I also had an odd discovery. The water hitting me while showering was terribly uncomfortable this morning. How strange is that? The worst of it had to be when the water was hitting my scalp. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
This leaves me wondering if a new symptom is developing, particularly after the hyper-sensitivity of Tuesday night.
I'm quite torn on this. On one hand, I would really like to know what is wrong with me. We have been waiting on new symptoms for a clearer picture. Doubt it's enough.
On the other hand, being that uncomfortable everytime I take a shower is not at all welcome. I honestly cannot imagine dealing with that the rest of my life.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Starting Over
This morning the scale read 181.6. Back to the beginning.
I don't know how difficult the weight loss process will be this time. At this point, I don't think walking is even possible. I know without a doubt that I need to walk & exercise to lose the weight. Watching my food intake is not enough.
Unfortunately, I'm having much difficulty with pain and fatigue. I'm sleeping my mornings away, because I'm not rested from the previous night. The pain in my hands and feet have escalated, but they still aren't as bad as I've experienced.
Last night before bed, I had another episode like last year. While the sensations were different, my nerves seemed to be hyper-sensitive. I can't even explain the sensation. When it started, it caused me to rub my face & scalp. The rest of my body had that odd sensation, too. But, I reacted to the face & scalp.
Last year, I thought the cold triggered the episode. After last night, I'm not so sure.
I'm so tired of being a marionette to my health issues. Today alone, I have so much that needs to be accomplished. Yet, I'm too tired to do most of it. I've managed some laundry, including folding things that have been in baskets for the last few days.
The worst indication of my condition--Jared requested I make cupcakes for his Band Banquet tomorrow. I don't think I have the energy to do so. It's breaking my heart that I might not be able to do something so simple for him. Plus, I love to bake. It brings me such joy, but I don't think I can do so.
It's unbelievable to think that I'm considering purchasing cupcakes.
Somethings gotta give!
I don't know how difficult the weight loss process will be this time. At this point, I don't think walking is even possible. I know without a doubt that I need to walk & exercise to lose the weight. Watching my food intake is not enough.
Unfortunately, I'm having much difficulty with pain and fatigue. I'm sleeping my mornings away, because I'm not rested from the previous night. The pain in my hands and feet have escalated, but they still aren't as bad as I've experienced.
Last night before bed, I had another episode like last year. While the sensations were different, my nerves seemed to be hyper-sensitive. I can't even explain the sensation. When it started, it caused me to rub my face & scalp. The rest of my body had that odd sensation, too. But, I reacted to the face & scalp.
Last year, I thought the cold triggered the episode. After last night, I'm not so sure.
I'm so tired of being a marionette to my health issues. Today alone, I have so much that needs to be accomplished. Yet, I'm too tired to do most of it. I've managed some laundry, including folding things that have been in baskets for the last few days.
The worst indication of my condition--Jared requested I make cupcakes for his Band Banquet tomorrow. I don't think I have the energy to do so. It's breaking my heart that I might not be able to do something so simple for him. Plus, I love to bake. It brings me such joy, but I don't think I can do so.
It's unbelievable to think that I'm considering purchasing cupcakes.
Somethings gotta give!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Still Feeling Awful
The boy is in his first year of marching band, which means every weekend is spent at football games--either chaperoning or working the concession stand--and competitions. In between, we are busy running to band practice. Plus, I work on Thursdays.
I feel as if I'm hanging on for dear life. I'm exhausted all the time. I manage to make it home after the competitions & crash for a couple of days. Take a couple of days to put out the fires--laundry & whatever cleaning I can manage in the process--only to start the madness over on Thursday.
It's unbelievably hectic & I'm completely overwhelmed. But, I also thoroughly enjoy watching the marching bands perform.
It's been almost 9 months since the pain & fatigue returned. I wish it would go away already.
Pass the cheese, please!
I feel as if I'm hanging on for dear life. I'm exhausted all the time. I manage to make it home after the competitions & crash for a couple of days. Take a couple of days to put out the fires--laundry & whatever cleaning I can manage in the process--only to start the madness over on Thursday.
It's unbelievably hectic & I'm completely overwhelmed. But, I also thoroughly enjoy watching the marching bands perform.
It's been almost 9 months since the pain & fatigue returned. I wish it would go away already.
Pass the cheese, please!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Facing Reality
2011 has completely sucked!
I signed up for the Megatransect, a 26 mile ultra marathon, on January 1. Then promptly took a bad turn on January 20. I had hoped that it would be a shortlived, bump in the road.
Instead, I've been struggling with pain & fatigue for over 8 months. So much for training, when there have been too many days that I've managed nothing more than laying on the couch in agony, while watching Netflix or television trying to keep my mind off the misery in my muscles & joints. Yet, there is nothing wrong with me. *rolling eyes*
In the process, I've discovered certain levels of pain & misery. Fortunately, I haven't been confined to bed this year. But, I've had periods of time that the physical act of holding a book is more than I can handle. I've also had difficulty writing, because holding a pen is painful. Yeah, there's nothing wrong there!
Fortunately, I was able to walk a total of 9 3/4 miles this week. Quite a triumph considering my struggles in the past 8 months. All that inactivity has really taken a toll on my physical abilities.
Once upon a time, step class was a peice of cake. While I have 2 left feet, I thoroughly enjoyed that hour of stepping. Last class I struggled to make the hour.
So, no Mega for me.
However, Monday is a brand new beginning. No looking back with wishful thinking, because that isn't productive. Instead, I'm making a fresh, attainable goal--10 miles next week.
I signed up for the Megatransect, a 26 mile ultra marathon, on January 1. Then promptly took a bad turn on January 20. I had hoped that it would be a shortlived, bump in the road.
Instead, I've been struggling with pain & fatigue for over 8 months. So much for training, when there have been too many days that I've managed nothing more than laying on the couch in agony, while watching Netflix or television trying to keep my mind off the misery in my muscles & joints. Yet, there is nothing wrong with me. *rolling eyes*
In the process, I've discovered certain levels of pain & misery. Fortunately, I haven't been confined to bed this year. But, I've had periods of time that the physical act of holding a book is more than I can handle. I've also had difficulty writing, because holding a pen is painful. Yeah, there's nothing wrong there!
Fortunately, I was able to walk a total of 9 3/4 miles this week. Quite a triumph considering my struggles in the past 8 months. All that inactivity has really taken a toll on my physical abilities.
Once upon a time, step class was a peice of cake. While I have 2 left feet, I thoroughly enjoyed that hour of stepping. Last class I struggled to make the hour.
So, no Mega for me.
However, Monday is a brand new beginning. No looking back with wishful thinking, because that isn't productive. Instead, I'm making a fresh, attainable goal--10 miles next week.
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